Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Renegotiations


Source: weheartit.com via Katie on Pinterest


Life is a constant series of renegotiations of self and perspective.  Perhaps those should be plural--selves and perspectives, really.  We go through different selves, different perspectives on the world and our experience of it.  We cycle from one thing to the next, sometimes forward, sometimes backward, always moving.

It's times like right now that I feel it most, when I am trying to negotiate who I am becoming at the same time that I discover I am not becoming who I once thought I would be by now.  It's not a bad thing; it's just the interplay of personal growth and environmental changes.  It is simply what is.

I know I'm being obtuse in a way, but I don't have much to say that I haven't already said before, which you could read if you clicked those links...

Things are changing here.  We've moved from the in-between stage to our new life, the one where my husband has a really great job and I keep hitting the books and we go forward until we tumble into a new routine.

I don't yet know if this blog is going to go with us.  I keep feeling the change, coming with the color of the leaves and the sliding temperatures and the curiously rainy fall we're having, but I don't know yet what it means.

I do know that it's Wednesday and this is the first time I've been able to sit at my laptop and type a few words for you since last week.  Would you still stop by if I only wrote once a week?



3 comments:

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

I would stop by no matter how often you wrote -- once a week, once a month, just whenever. I can really relate to a lot of what you've said in this post. When I went to college, I thought I was going to be an actor. Then a religious studies professor. Then I had no idea. Then a philosophy professor. Now? I'm still wandering, but I've figured out that I always go where I need to be -- for myself and for others. I have a really deep trust in the strange way the world works.

Deidre said...

I am sure people will still read (this is my first time here!), but i can totally relate to this. I've got some serious changes afoot myself and it's hard to negotiate those and expectations and live in the moment and and and and ahhhh

Mo said...

I'm feeling the tides of change too and am also having a hard time with my blog lately, but I encourage you to keep writing so we can come back and visit!